Tuesday, June 27, 2006

There's no more ice cream in the freezer...

Do you live with someone? Are you dating? Maybe married? or maybe thinking about getting married???

Do you ever buy yourself something tasty and put it in the back of the fridge/freezer for those occasions that you want a treat? And last night around 3 a.m. you get up to raid the freezer for some tasty goodness, and after opening the door and peering in behind the frozen veggies and the pizzas that your tasty Haagen Dazs Mayan Chocolate ice cream is gone (read: eaten) ...

Do you take medication on a daily basis? And is your medicine cabinet partitioned with one side for one person and the other for your SPOUSE - gf/bf/sig other? OK, so there are medications that are for you only, and you have the bottle of advil, cold medicine, etc... so forth and so on. I had a bad chest cold cold over the last month and I had bought over $35.00 worth of medication that is pour Moi. I keep a stock of standard medication that I expect to be there when I need it,


HIV is unpredictable at best, if someone sneezes near me I will go down in less that 24 hours. I've not been feeling myself lately, I've had some pain that is becoming insane, and I have migraines from time to time, that make me want to jump off the balcony.

Let's say your hubby is on a medical regimen that you are supposed to follow and pay attention to and over the last week he has been manic and crazy and bouncing off the walls and you have no clue as to why, So NOW, you try to alleviate the problem by powers of super human strength and mental will.

A week goes by and last night he comes home from his final exam and he is high as a kite. HMMM??? ( he later tells you/reminds you that he is coming off one of his pills ) I am supposed to have an cast iron 500 gig memory for all things right?) Like I have already too much crap on my desktop that I have to remember he's coming down and that's why he's manic, but when he's manic he likes to medicate.......with my medication... WTF!

He says he's sick and has a cough, I open my side of the medicine cabinet to check the stock of meds, the meds are all gone... A HUGE bottle of cough medicine and a smaller bottle of "special sauce" is empty, AND my box of Extra strength Cold Pills - GONE!! Now knowing that hubby has a penchant for cough medicine and medication addiction, "by the bottle" I calmy look for some pills to try and end this migraine and low and behold my pain killers are gone as well.


There is no more ice cream in the freezer, Oh by the way...

And I took all of your meds because I thought I was sick, "well, you never told me?" Do you have these kinds of problems with your gf/bf/SPOUSE/sig other? Does your spouse take and not replace - or take and abuse the fact that there are pills in the cabinet that might not belong to them, but by the mere fact that they are there - should be taken, just because?

Yes I know I live with another addict and alcoholic. Tell me about it... I only take pills when I have to and I only use medication when the pain gets unbearable (and by that point it is too late, I am going down for at least 12 hours) - that I can't sleep, I'm not eating well and I've been nauseated for 3 days from pain.

Aside from that I go to meetings.

And this morning at 6:30 a.m. I got up looking for some relief from the cabinet, but there was none to be had, and then Mount St. Jeremy blew his lava dome all over hubby !! There were pyroclastic flows falling all over the apartment and the bombs were flying - I'm not proud of my behavior, but you know, I have my limits.

AS hubby says..."see, you're dong it again, you got angry, and it's all your fault, you need to see a shrink for your Intermittent Explosive Disorder!"

WHAT THE FUCK ........ now you're a fucking shrink too???

I am insane - I know... I really need a meeting... this evening...

How do you reconcile two addicts and alcoholics living under one roof - one goes to meetings and works on himself, the other does not - he doesn't talk to anyone nor works a program of recovery and I am supposed to be ok with that?? And he sits here and pushes my buttons and does shit like eating my ice cream and taking my pills and medication and doesn't say a word about it until I go looking for something that I EXPECT to be where I left it last?? And he sits in waiting me to crumble under the pressure and to purposefully point out that

"I got angry and upset!"

See you did it again, You got angry and you need medication...


I expect my ice cream to be where I left it and I expect my medications not to be used and not replaced for when I NEED them to be there. You know If someone wants to take my medications, why don't I just give you a reason to REALLY need my medication.

How's about that fancy pants???

OH my God in Heaven...


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