Sunday, April 16, 2006

Moments of clarity...

Tonight's offering was A&E's "God or the Girl" special presentation based on the lives of four young men in the stages of making a decision of discernment of whether to enter the priesthood or follow life as it will present itself to them. I thought that the two episodes that aired tonight were indicative of what it was like for me, in those days, when I made that decision as well. There was no question of where I was headed. But because I was naive and unsure and forced to accept and keep secrets of those who sinned greatly against God, I walked away from the ministry. I would have stuck had the right man come to my assistance when I needed it, alas, that was then and this is now.

Hindsight is 20/20...

There are moments even now when I am moved by the spirit and I sit here and write and I think and it all comes so clearly and difinitively as if inspiration has come to me from places on high. Moments of clarity bring with them desire. There are times as of late that I ponder thought of ministry and religious life. And I sit here and ask myself that question all over again. If the opportunity ever presented itself what would you do? I know the answer to that question, because I know what God "feels" like to me when I feel the spirit begin to move my thoughts and my words.

The church is such an immovable force, it is unforgiving and utterly set in concrete just what it will accept and what it won't, and this afternoon I thought about why I did not participate in Holy Week masses or even go to mass this morning, and I could honestly answer that question with this answer. I know my God and He knows me and I have spent the last week in silent prayer, writing here, working on a paper that is due, and I respected the fast that the tradition of my belief system and my religion. I participated in reflections written by the many men and women of faith who are part of my blog list. Each day someone offered a prayer, a thought or a reflection that I took in and prayed on and walked with each day. The past 40 days and 40 nights have brought new wisdom and faith. In hindsight, today, I see how my faith is a little stronger because I waited on the Lord, I listened for His voice, and I followed my path through the desert that we all walked here together with the beginning of Lent and my 40 days and 40 nights writing.

Life evolves and so does religion, it is ever changing and ever evolving for those who believe that faith and life are intertwined. Where the two intersect God is there. I know what I would like to do with the rest of my life, if given the choice to do so or if opportunity knocked and God said "Here you go, this is what you wanted, now run with it." I heaved that prayer into the sky over a late dinner tonight as I watched four young men battle with the angel, we will see who follows and who give in tomorrow night.

God is Life, God is Love and those who Live their lives in Love are part of God's plan. Live lived out of Love begins the process of growth and learning. There is so much more to find in the texts now brought to the fore, that I forsee new beginnings and new truths for christianity. But is Christianity willing to allow for change, I don't think so, that does not mean that we as community cannot look at these texts and find new truth for ourselves as it pertains to God and religion. Let us continue the journey.

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