Thursday, March 09, 2006

Review and Dialogue - Abortion - Pro choice - Accountability

*** Addition/Edit 3-9-06 ***

I spent the night last night thinking about this piece, which I took down, then decided to put back up. I think that a dialogue about this subject IS necessary, that we should talk about this issue, in order to understand where we have been and what we know (has been) true. We need to allow for the discussion of the powers and influence of the "Church" on the lives of its followers and the way society has seen fit to treat the subject of Abortion, Sex Education, peer support and the mismanagement of the lives of generations of children due to the apathetic treatment by their parents.

I watched generations of kids grow up with parents who did not ever mention the word sex in the home, I know that some did talk about it, yet even in my tight social religious circles, young men and women had sex and produced unwanted children. I spent time in orphanages in my lifetime. I know what it is like to watch kids and young people sit in "homes" waiting to be "discovered."

Where do we find assistance, and where do we begin by educating the masses on the attributes of accountability. I mean, are we accountable and can we be held to account for our actions? If you have sex, do it responsibly and if you conceive a child then you must answer for that act. If you proceed to have sex and indiscriminantly get pregnant, than should you not be accountable for that life that you created?

Is abortion an act that is too easy? Is it that it is a fail safe to unwanted pregnancy in most cases? Are rape victims and women in distress the bulk of all abortion activities? I would like to know! When do we stop the killing of unborn children for the irresponsible actions of couples who indiscriminantly have sex with procreative ends?

I really would like to know how many women who get abortions are doing it for medical or criminal or medical reasons. Really, in the U.S. we believe that we are owed our rights by charter, and that our actions do not carry with it accountability or responsibility. I think that notion of privelege should end. I think that if you play russian roulette and you loose, then you carry forth the responsibility. Maybe this might wake up the masses to say, let's rethink our sexual nature. Maybe contraception may become more widely used. Maybe adults should become more responsible and maybe parents should get a little, well, alot more proactive in the lives and welfares of their sons and daughters.

I don't think, in my opinion that the social gospel of the U.S. has been focused on family enough. I think that many adults came from families where sex was never discussed or the issue pushed at all, hence the apathetic and non-issue status of the subject of sex. So we have this problem - and who do we give the rights of abortion to? Anyone, women in distress, anyone who thinks that abortion is the easy out for a sexual tryst? I am all for the womans power to choose.

But, I think we can safely say that it takes two to tango and I think we have reached a point where we can discuss the ways we have avoided the discussion of hot social issues. Hot button issues of sexuality, sexual orientation and abortion are all up there on the list of NO NO's...

I know the power of the church, I study it, I critically write about it - religion is the path my education has taken me, so I know the whole story of the churches stance of reproductive rights and the control and regulation of bodies over the last century. So I am not ignorant to all sides of the arguement.

I just think we need to step back and ask some really hard questions of ourselves, our communities, and our governments. This issue has wide ranging implications. Sex is just not something one does for fun, it has serious ramifications.

I think there is also a problem with communities that do not live on the same standards as middle class america, and that happens here as well. When I was diagnosed many years ago I had to visit areas of the city that young white boys do not go into even in the daylight, as was told to me by the women of color that worked in those offices. I saw things that frightened me and enraged me. Poor white women and women of color strapped with children on each arm waiting for social assistance by the month. I think men are not held accountable for their actions across the board, and I really don't think that all women are so sex hungry that they invite sexual encounters to produce multiple children.

I saw a report on ABC news tonight about men's rights? Shit what the fuck is that? You had sex, you got someone pregnant, so now you pay! I think too many men have sex and walk away from their women saying, Not my job, I don't want to be a father, it's your problem, you should have used/had some birth control, not my responsibility!! NO - NO and NO !!! Men's rights my ASS !!

Men in many cultures see fit to sex up their women and not take te step to see them through. Women are abused by men in many cases because of sex, rape, racial and social parameters, incest the list goes on and on. I am not immune to the racial issues that sex and abortion are dealt with, because I was part of the interracial communities in Miami and I am here as well in Montreal.

This is not only a white problem it is a black problem it is a religious problem and it is a social problem. Those who have to powers to make a difference have not and now states in the U.S. are taking the step to try and outlaw abortions. Is it because of the right to lifers - or is it a legal question - or an abuse of privelege issue?

Men are not IMMUNE from responsibility and accountability...

Men are not untouchable Gods of the Universe no matter how much you think you are.

What the hell is this world coming to ????

Sex is a two to tango issue. If you got in the sack and you put a bun in the oven, have the courage to do the right thing.

If you have sex you do it safely with a condom or Birth Control so that you don't reach the point of no return and have to resort to abortion. Sex has procreative ends, and life is sacred, yet I support a womens right to choose, AND I think that both parties should be held accountable for their actions, it is about time we end the culture of entitlement and privelege. Because even the poor are stuck in this problematic issue. Not all people can afford abortions, many people are stuck by religious traditions, and many people just are stuck in a cycle of violence and sexual irresponsibility. Just because there are two people in a space, does not mean you have to have sex with conception a possibility.

Think !


***Addition Wed 3-8-06 ***

Let's not forget the last century of church teaching against Birth Control and abortion, and let's not forget the past popes all the way back in time through John XIII through John Paul II abortion - birth control - womens reproductive rights and bodily regulation has been under the perview of the church and her leader, the pope. I understand this issue polarized the religious center and offshoots of that center, and adults took matters into their own hands under the pressure and punishment of excommunication.

We cannot undo the past, only learn from it. and that needs to happen. because of the churches intrasigence and inability to change or allow for reproductive rights of women and the fact that condoms in any capacity are outlawed by the church, even to stem the tide of disease, we are faced with social, ethical and moral problems. Because of the stranglehold the church has had on the world for so long we suffer for their intolerance and inability to "change" with the times, they have not grown with the social agenda of the world. They rule with iron fist from the seat of Peter not understanding what is at stake, in simple form, don't have sex, then we wouldn't have this discussion, but you just cannot legislate or enforce "don't have sex from one site."

Society needs to understand that if we do not change this timeline, this insanity will never end. This does not mean that adults can go on with apathetic ways about their children. We need to start teaching and get proactive, in order to make progress ONE MUST BEGIN PROGRESS.

Apathy is not a luxury we can entertain any longer and that needs to start NOW.

I have always been pro choice.

A few of my childhood girl-friends, got pregnant before they got out of high school, so I understand. But I also think that this ruling ( In S.D. ) however dangerous it is, must be looked at critically.

Maybe its time for boys and girls and men and women to "get responsible" for those who can make the choice "not to have sex OR use contraception."

I know living in the U.S. we think that everyone is so victimized, not so.

People want to do what they do and not have any responsibility or culpability in making babies. TOO MANY babies have come from underage sex acts of young girls doing the nasty with boys with over exaggerated sex drives. And it is a badge of courage for young men and women to have sex ... lets be realistic about this truth.

I've seen many of my friends become parents as children, which is tragic in some cases. A few girls I knew were sent off to farms in Texas to have their children only to give them up for adoption after the fact, sent away because family could not or did not want to deal with them.

I think Americans believe they are entitled to do what they please with their bodies and that is all well and good, but when do we hold you accountable for your actions? Outside the perview of life endangerment and rape, incest or medical illness or the welfare of the mothers carrying children?

Now I live abroad and see things for what they really are in the U.S. so many young people AND adults making babies - "just for the hell of it sex acts," they say "oh she can always get an abortion, not my problem, I don't have to be responsible." Boys and girls should not be procreating, very simple. Alas, who really gives a shit, and how many adults are on the up and up with thier young adult children to where they can openly talk about sex?


This IS and has been, for decades, a SOCIAL PROBLEM, and a RACIAL PROBLEM and a RELIGIOUS PROBLEM and a PERSONAL PROBLEM. All over the world. Nobody is immune from this issue.

If you don't want children or if you dont want to face the piper with your DECISION to have sex, because it all comes down to a choice really!!! THEN DONT HAVE SEX for gods sakes.

We could stem population growth by teaching abstinence and birth control and if adults in the U.S. were more proactive in the lives of their children in most cases, then their little girls would not have to have sex outside of marriage (to feel wanted and loved) because they sure aren't getting at at home we now know and little boys could be kept on short leashes, but because of the climate of work and busy adult lives and the fact that I grew up in a world where adults did not care WHAT their sons or daughters were doing, we'd have alot less unwanted children and irresponsible parents and grandparents.

SEX is a choice
Making babies is a choice
NOT having sex is a choice
Birth control is a choice
Abortion is a choice....

BUT, for so many decades the U.S. and has tried to legislate the rights of women and their bodies, YET men and women, boys and girls continue this perpetuation of SEX, SEX and more SEX... and their actions go un-punished or UN-changed.

Welfare systems are over tasked and unwed mothers are astronomical.And there are way too fucking many kids in the "system" waiting to find good homes. Which is just SINFUL!!!!! We could have stopped this insanity years ago, HAD society got right and got educated and got proactive instead of doing NOTHING !!!

Oh, not my kid
Oh, my kid isn't having Sex
Oh, not my responsibility!!
I don't have time to deal with my kids problems !!!
I have my own problems, sex education, oh, let the schools do it....
My kids aren't having sex...

Am I repeating myself??

The culture of the U.S. is of entitlement and privelege, just because they are a superpower and Americans are all good and right and responsible!

NOT - NOT - NOT !!!

Unwanted babies CAN be avoided if two people choose not to have sex, and it is up to the adults and parents to start the dialogue with young people to change the tide of unwanted pregnancies because this has gone on for decades un-spoken and not dealt with correctly.

You play - You pay !!

It all comes down to a choice.

It is time to become responsible for your choices. Come on, how many couples play russian roulette with their bodies?

I'm hiv poz so I know about this topic. I know how I got infected... My diabetic BF was sick and did not tell me, I found out after he was dead... who knew.

And I am not the pot calling the kettle black.

Teenagers and sex education was NOT and HAS NOT been productive or emphasized enough AT HOME or in the schools where it should have been, alas, the adults of the past generations were inattentive and irresponsible to affect change in the lives of those who mattered the most, all because of work, adult issues, all of my friends parents were divorced and my parents were alcoholics and not present as they should have been.

Rape - incest and other situations deserve special attention, because no woman wants to bear a child out of a rape situation, so that door needs to be kept open. Medical anomalies are also necessary procedures.

But really, it's time to instill a little responsibility and accountability to the citizens of the U.S. and worldwide. Sex is not free and children are not cheap. so if you dont wanna take care of them, then don't produce them, its as simple as that.

"If you cant relate without the procreate," and you can't use either abstinence or B.C. then you are just stupid. Babies or Aids, Babies and Aids, two subjects dear to my heart, and so many men getting away with irresponsibility and murder. Especially in Africa.

Did you know that African men in some areas in Africa believe that if they have sex with a virgin, they they will be cured of Aids???

We need a cultural revolution world wide and perspectives on reproduction need to change. Education and proper adult supervision of the lives of children and young people needs to be stepped up because right now parents are getting a failing grade in parenting in most cases, seeing I work with addicted young people and boys without fathers, my plate is full and I am not judging, just making a very healthy observation looking back at where I come from.

Americans have had it too easy, and its time to buck up and start paying attention to lives and the creation and aborting of life. Adults have gotten away with inattention for way too long.

Children coming from broken homes having children as children is a travesty and speaks of the way OUR parents and they themselves were treated or not treated by their parents. This problem is not new, just like the gay iussue is not new. Societies in America are screwed up and i admit things are screwed up here as well, but we help those we can here, and there for those who will listen.

Sad really, the world has come to this, when all of this could have been avoided had adults of previous generations took the time to do the right thing instead of

Nothing at all....


Blogger Shark-fu said...

As someone who works with many young women how have chosen to keep their child, I am rather emotional about this issue. And I think that you have pointed out a lot of the complexity.

We have a lot of work to do. And we must do it because children matter and there is too much at stake.

But this discussion needs to happen and circling around it only leaves it on the table.

Too much to say as a comment, but I'll shoot you an e-mail with more of my thoughts.

3:49 PM  
Blogger CanEragon said...

Okay, some more thoughts.

One thing that jumped out at me while reading your posts was when you mentioned that American society is not focused on family enough. And that is so very true! We talk a big game, but we are not actually a family centered society.

Sex education is and our lack of support for it is just another example of our lack of family centered thinking.

My work has taught me that children thrive when they are wanted, loved and enjoyed. Family planning, which is necessary for that kind of secure foundation, begins with basic sex education. It also includes parenting classes and ongoing support.

How many families actually take the time to enjoy each other? And how many families take the time to welcome a foster child or adoptive child into their midst?

A true exploration of family is, to me, an exploration of living the Devine One's plan for us. There is love, support, openess and acceptance. There is care and sacrifice.

And we just don't seem to see much of that in America anymore.

The goal of family planning and sex education is to encourage the building of strong family units on strong foundations. By rejecting it, American society perpetuates poverty, unplanned pregnancies and disconnected families.

I guess it's just easier to fight about abortion rather than work towards a society where it is a rarely needed course of action.

Makes me wonder why pro-life is so neglectful of actual lives.

Thanks again for discussing this...that takes courage and concern!

6:18 PM  

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