Monday, March 13, 2006

Monday Musings...

Heylo girlz and boyz...

I talked to one of my friends this evening in class about the dream the other day. If my powers serve me correctly, then my mother is communicating information. She does not address me directly or talks to me as in a "conversation." I don't think she knows she can do that yet, and I have not engaged her in conversation either. There are just some things I just don't want to know just yet. You know? I have to keep it real, lest I loose myself in what I may start to begin to feel and that might rightfully make me insane and I'd loose myself in grief. And I thought about grief too.

I guess since I don't "know" concretely, that she is passed on because I do troll the obituaries from where they live and haven't seen her listed. Not that she would want a listing that could be traced by me, she and my father are that devious. (not having information is the greatest evil punishment my parents used against me to destroy my spirit) and maybe that fact has kept my mother earthbound until she makes up for her karic payback??? I don't know. But that thought came to me as I sit here and write, I was preparing to publish this, and the thought flitted through my head, so I take that as an answer. See, I can think and write at the same time. I have not "grieved" for her because I can't, but I accept her energy into my being and my life as it is today, so I guess that acceptance of reality has afforded me the human grief process. I know where she is "within my universal life" and that is good enough for me right now.

She still has a voice and can make suggestions and such. Last night when I went to bed, I asked several questions to my spirit guides and waited for some answers, they come intuitively to me, not necessarily in a dream or a vision. I've been working with "my craft" in new ways, since it seems that the gift, if not used, is lost. So before I go to bed or before I lay down for a nap, I have a list of intentions that I rattle off in my head so that when I sleep, if they so wish, will give me some answers or show me where to find them. I did not dream last night or this morning, as my dreams usually come in the last third of my sleep cycle, Peter interrupted that this morning because he had to wake me up and ask me something this morning, I can't usually re-reach rem stage after leaving it.

It has been my experience that the womes in my life who have passed on - take some time to find their bearings on the spirit side. They learn how to communicate, the learn how to navigate the "in between spaces" and they - like me learn their craft as they do it. I had to change a life practice to allow my grandmother access to me when I slept after she died, and a medium told me this when he came to my house and she was there. So I know being spirit is not necessarily a "full knowledge" position once death occurs, you have to find your way if you decided to stay earthbound and be a guide or protector. Spirits find their way into our lives, and they use what they know to make sure YOU know they were there. Scents, Mental Pictures, Memories, Thoughts, the list goes on and on.

As I sit here I am still writing so I guess this is free flow mediation for you my readers. That though just occurred to me that there are those ways I just listed for a spirit to make contact, by igniting a memory or a time or a place or specific scent. I have written about "scents" before. Dreams are powerful place to meet spirit in common area. I have tried in recent days and nights to try and intention a meeting in dream space, and they say when we dream are we in real time or are we in real life, and is waking time reality or is it a dream? Where is real time?

Intuition, in my opinion is a craft I think we all work with at different times of our daily lives. Sometimes we need that "2 by 4" over the head answer and sometimes it comes as a natural occurrence, as if, "wow, I knew this answer all along, but did not trust myself to believe it." When I had my NDE years ago and met that man who told me that lifes questions could be asked before we died was truly a watershed moment in my life, because since then I have worked my craft to intuit the answers I sought from the universe. And I think that when we are ready to listen and learn, and we prepare to "Receive" then the universe conspires WITH US to get us those answers. And I don't think that many people believe that in themselves.

But you know, I always talk about "the Journey" as a long path to "knowing and knowledge itself." I put on some really great music, "Sting - Inside the songs of Sacred Love" dvd. I love this piece of music because I can meditate and write at the same time with no outside distractions since I am home alone for the next hour.

I thought about a friends question which I posted to comments before starting this piece, and I talk to the spirit when I am in "thought" mode. And I posed this question, "is she communicating information?" and the answer came back a solid yes. So there is my answer. It is also wierd that last week I had a dream about class, and told a friend of mine that next day, and today's lecture was an entire lesson in Deja Vu, because she said to me after class, do you not have a sense of deja vu at this moment, because I told her about the lecture we had today over a week ago.

Last night on the Art Bell show on Coast to Coast radio, he had a woman on who practiced "the craft" and she shared some techniques on contacting ones spirit guides. And I learned a few things along with Art on this topic. Spirit guides come and go. Some are with us from birth and some guides are family members who contracted to stay with us to guide us. I think that my grandmothers made that decisions when they died, since we had been so close in life, and the fact that I lost them way too early in my young life to make use of them the older I got. There is also a man who guides me as well. I have spoken about him before. He is the calm fatherly figure who watches me when I sleep. He does not interact with the ladies. If you watch (on Ch 51) Most Haunted series, some spirits can occupy the same space and not know each other or communicate together.

I haven't seen the shadow person in a long while. He is freaky and scares the shit out of me when he appears - I get petrified and freak out in bed, like I can't move or breathe. I don't know what that is, but I have taken steps to make sure he does not come back to my sacred space. You should see my room, it is a shrine to many faiths and practices. I have a great big "Dream Catcher" that I bought from a Seminole Indain many years ago, it is really beautiful. (one of these days I will get a digital camera and put some fresh photos up)

Spring is almost upon us and I have to get my oils and smudge stick to do my cleansing ritual when I open the apartment up. It is still too cold to do that. Nothing like fresh sage and rosemary oil to cleanse a space. using your index finger place a ring over the head of the bed and inside the circle a cross - and speak words of affirmation of the space for protection and peacefulness.

I have not consulted my decks for information in a long time. I have several decks that I really love to use. I have a wonderfully illustrated set of Osho Zen cards that are incredibly beautiful. I also have a deck of fairy cards that are also beautifully illustrated. And my learning deck is a Ryder Waite deck of cards which sit in a cedar box over on the bookshelf with my Harry Potter books and magic wand that a friend gave me when I moved to Canada. Yes, so call me what you want, crazy, evil maybe a witch??? The craft is powerful if you use it in good measure and in good faith and integrity. When i was really sick my friends who were also "craft" practitioners helped me learn the craft to help heal myself of infirmity. It is said, that a good spell pointed in the right direction is incredibly powerful. I have not been as sick for that long a period of time since that time period of my life. I mean, I get sick on occasion from medications or the flu, different from the way it was before when I was plagued with infections, migraines and all kinds of physical infirmities that kept me in hospitals longer than I liked to be.

I think that that is the difference for me and others who are sick. I did not sit back and let disease take over my body and take me to death. I investigated every possible means to contact something greater than myself, in order that I might find some peace and maybe legthen the life i was living on the earth, and I suspect that knowledge has brought me to this moment. There are ways to find universal power be that through "craft" or prayer or meditation, reading and studying, seeking counsel from those on the path, and doing internal work on ones self. Not to mention the process of recovery lends itself to the persuance of a faith in a power greater than ourselves, even if you don't believe in a GOD, you find belief in "something." Which usually turns out to be god for all intents and purposes. And yes there are some who would rather die than to admit that god exists for them, that willpower and prayer keeps them clean or sober or whatever they are.

It does not bring one on to "sanity" until you are ready to let go of "Insanity."

So what is your craft? What is it that YOU employ to connect to the universe at large to help you through your day? Come on, lets have a discussion. I know there are some readers out there who can read and write. For my religious readers, I know where God is and how He applies to my life, that supercedes my craft, suffice to say, my spiritual approach to life is a multi-denominational, and multi-spiritually in scope. If "it" exists then I must find out how "it" works and how "it" will work for me.

It's all about who you meet and what you learn along the path to the ultimate destination.

Nirvana - Heaven - Eternity - The Universe - Rebirth - etc...


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