Wednesday, March 15, 2006

If it is to be me, it's up to me...

"You certainly
are a man of action. You take to heart the saying,
'If it is to be, it's up to me.' Good on you."

The wheels of time never stop turning, so do the wheels of change. In facing many things in my life, I still have fears of inability, inferiority and intimidation. I have been slowly conquering these fears this year by accepting my fate as a student of Religion, who is entering his LAST YEAR of post secondary education in 60 days. Yep, 60 days will begin the 2006-2007 academic year in the academic calendar of Condordia University. Donald and I will be reviewing my academic record in the coming days - we talked about that today. So you are almost there - they say, then ask, "what are you going to do with your life?"

That dream of doing something for my community began tonight, by my writing to the director of the Diamond Centre in Vancouver. I was so impressed with the system of care and the importance that Vancouver puts in the lives of people with Aids. You know Vancouver is way ahead of Quebec in many aspects of life. Their example and work is something I am hoping to duplicate for the city of Montreal. I sent my introduction letter and prospectus to the Direcotr of the Center this evening. I outlined my education and my hopeful goals to her and I told her that I would like to come out there and see the Centre for myself and study the infrastructure that is in place to support this kind of support. I am truly "Intimidated" by the Big Wide World and my ability to affect change in my own community because there are many hurdles to cross and many bridges to build and many people to please. (Ah, now there's a common thought) "People to please!" I know about that, see, I am thinking as I am writing, that's how this works.

I write, I think, you get to read my inner dialogue, fun isn't it?

There is a distinct break between the two cultures here those being the English and the Francophone communities. There are distinct treatment options for both communities, although there are many patients that come to the IDTC at the General for HIV treatment. I have no idea where I am going to start to bridge the gap, although all of my peers whom I have talked to about this project are behind me 100%. I shall begin by talking to my doctor to see what information he can give me - then meet with other HIV care providers to get their feedback, then I will take my project to the people and find a way to make it happen.

Add to this - I have a marriage to care for, a home to keep clean, studies to persue and a life to be lived, and a book to get published (sooner than later). After sitting in my methods class this long into the semester I have been made painfully aware that my original manuscript will never cut it as a published Masterful - Communicative Medium to help others, I have to make some changes to the text in story form, the language of communication and the way I approach certain aspects of the book. I have started the editing already but have some more work to do, so we'll see when I get it finished.

This project with the Diamond Centre has been on my mind for the last 5 years, but I felt intimidated by the prospect of such an ambitious project on the scale that I am thinking about. But I think with a few years of sobriety and 3 years of University under my belt, 13 years of HIV living and 38 years of like, those things do count for something.

Let Us Pray !!!

I skipped my religious obligation tonight because I walked out of the building and it was freakishly cold - I was cold and the wind was blowing and there were flurries in the air and I had no desire to schlep all the way to church so I came home and did some work and made a few important phone calls that I needed to make in order to get this piece up tonight. My angel in Vancouver is good to me. he he he (Yes YOU, you know who you are !!)

The dice are shaken and thrown, and the cards are all on the table, and my intentions are out there for those who need to see them and now the universe is aware of what I intend on doing.


Blogger Echo Mouse said...

Just trying to understand this correctly....are you planning to emulate the Diamond Center in Quebec? Or are you planning to move to Vancouver to help the community there?

Either way, this is wonderful Jeremy :)

3:40 PM  
Blogger CanEragon said...

I am hoping to duplicate that system here but I face certain barriers to doing so with the split community. If it does not get acceptance here, I would certainly move out of province for a career in the field of choice.

Quebec has certain challenges that an anglophone must either deal with, or not. If one side is preferred over the other, which there are very well defined parameters it may not be worth it to persue this here.

The two communities are separate entities amongst themselves, and because I am not fluent in the second language as of yet, that may pose more problem than solution. But we will see in time what happens.

3:48 PM  
Blogger Mind the Bear said...

Image your future. Dream. Love the questions.

You go, bro.,

Cheers, Joe.

4:34 PM  
Blogger Echo Mouse said...

Thanks Jer :)
I'm glad to see you're keeping your options open. You can do so much good. It will be phenomenal when you finish school and can get out there and start doing all you want to.

11:09 AM  

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