Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Do you ever feel like...

Like you've been here before, that reading some stories, that the mental picture is so strong, it is if you were standing in the middle of the story looking at familiar furniture and food stuffs and familiar places and people? I am not really sure what to make of it. I've been rotating at a high level for the past few days, and I am not sure why.

I have visited a few blogs as of late and I find these incredible things to say in comment to certain ongoing stories (Bear) and a few others (Preacher Boy) and even the (RLP)... I can't put my finger on why I am sitting where I am sitting, or why my "spiritual meter" is revved up. I don't know what to write lately, yet I always find something to empty out on this page even when I am not thinking about anything certain or specific.

I have been (Nightly) listening to Coast to Coast Am radio, and lately there have been series of nights of discussions that I either relate to or identify with in Huge ways. As I was writing the shadow people plst, I was simultaneously writing Heidi from the site that I linked on the earlier post from tonight. I "just know" certian things as if they were right here in front of me.

Sometimes I freak myself out with some of the things I find myself writing. I go back and read, read and reread to make sure I wrote what I did, because sometimes "I scare me" you know, this edumacational thing is really messin with my brain! There are neurons in my brain that have been dormant for so long - to feel them firing on the page is freaky strange. I've written some stellar essays this term, and I have 2 final exams sitting on the desk that must be completed so I've been conversing with John Paul by way of encyclicals and books in preparation to write my final exam, and I am just ramped up for the project!

It is freaky when you unburden your heart and mind and you find that the wider the beam you send out to the universe, all this universal truth comes flooding back in and I find myself overwhelmed right at the moment. I have talked about subjects lately that just impact me so deeply and I believe in so deeply as well. Life is so important and People are so important that wasting time with meager information and little lessons is a waste of time. So as of late, I've been writing words of faith and support that I have no idea where it is coming from. I am just the conduit for something greater than myself. And if that helps someone then please take note, we may never pass this point in the journey again, so collect the data while you can.

We are steadily marching towards our Easter Holy Week celebration and I am so ready to worship and get down with spirit, I get this feeling that something is coming. Something BIG. I am all hyped up, my radar is at full tilt and my powers of intuition lately have been Dead On.

Today's topic was "Do I STILL get more than I give."

In order to keep it one must give it away. It almost feels like I have fully understood what it means to transcend. I wrote about that below in a post from last night, from my Pope paper on John Paul. Today I spoke about transcendence in a meeting and it just felt so right. Life and sobriety are evolutionary paths IF you choose to evolve as a human. And I find it incredibly difficult NOT to transcend daily because all I do in class is study religion and God and tradition, then I take that knowledge back into my community and I am responsible for so many people in my life, my "family" my "blog family" my "home family" My home group is such a gift and we all work so hard to keep those meetings up and running and we do it because we care and we can. And sometimes I come home and I am emotionally drained. That happened tonight, and I started a post that was just a mess, so this is my make up exam. I feel like I have accomplished something that I have had yet to do. In the next 30 days I will complete my three years of study and in May I will begin my graduate year of studies and my Honors in Religion program will begin simultaneously I hope.

I have really HOT HOT HOT irons in the fire and I am just waiting for one of those irons to come in and pay off. The wheels are turning and I am so ready for a universal answer. Jesus, I need to calm down and take a cold shower or something. OMG!

Ok... I've ranted enough, I am off to bed.

Nitey Nite boyz and girlz...

Oy, what a day !!

"Serenity Now!!"


Blogger Echo Mouse said...

This just all sounds very good. Very interesting.

I guess we have to wait to see what the next chapter is about :)

4:22 PM  

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