Tuesday, February 28, 2006

A post to the RLP

Hello My name is Jeremy and I am Gay and I AM HIV positive and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict. I have been gay since I realized something was "different." I played the straight game for years, and was engaged to be married until a woman tried to castrate me because I would not impregnate her.

The scourge of AIDS is not and WAS NOT a God Punishing Gay disease, and I know that because I live it every day of my life. 13 years now, I have my faith and I have my God because men of faith encouraged me to pray. You may think God punished me with AIDS, I like to believe that illness changed my life because it forced me to WALK in FAITH without knowing if I would wake up the next morning. I am a walking, talking fucking miracle of God's grace and wisdom. Surely you might learn something for me when your children come home one day and break some news of illness to you - OR - OR - You find yourself on the receiving end of a doctors diagnosis of Cancer or Diabetes or Imminent DEATH! Cause you know I've BEEN TO AND SEEN the garden and I asked my questions and they sent me back and that was in 1997, so I must be praying to the right GOD in Heaven cause I am still alive and kicking!! In 1993 My ex-lover infected me then Killed Himself and did not tell me he was sick, I learned that from the coroners report. And I found his rotted body 5 days after his death...need I remind you what a decomposing corpse looks like. God Wept!!

I am also Catholic and I am a Religion Major at Concordia Unversity in Montreal. I also have studied biblical history as part of my Major Studies, so you Christians out there who want to quote Biblical literature to me, then you better know WHAT you are talking about before you lay your shit on me.

39 years of life as a catholic and a year in Seminary and a post secondary education gives me room to speak like a preacher because I know what I know from SCHOLARS who are well published and respected.

WHAT I am has nothing to do with WHO I am. That I am Gay does not impact any of the friends and family I surround myself with. My parents walked away years before this truth was let go. My father was a Nigger hating, Jew Hating, Fag hating kind of man who went to war and came back with demons. I have not seen nor spoken to my parents in over 6 years now, because of their hatred. Thank God I did not become my father.

I know from hate because I was raised within hate. So don't you dare begin to think you know what you are talking about when you talk about God and Fags! DO YOU TALK TO GOD DIRECTLY??? NO? I didn't think so. No man on earth has the ear of God - not even the preachers !! So unless you have the direct 1-800 number I choose to ignore the hatred you spew on people like me.

What God thinks of me is between God and ME and US alone. What YOU think of me is none of my business. I am not only Gay and HIV positive, I am also in recovery in a straight group of Alcoholics Anonymous where I am respected because I am honest and I work my ass off and I live a good christian life with good christian values, and I make love to my husband in the privacy of my bedroom before the eyes of God.

So I got a question for you God fearing men and women? Do you have sex in any other position than the missionary position? Do you do things that would make you blush before God? Did you procreate? good for you.

I don't think that because - I am male and have sex and I am emotional and I feel makes me any different than you. How many men went to war and loved other men like no other under the flag of red white and blue and you came back a changed man saying that you loved your brother as yourself and that changed you? Because it changed my father because he has a shrine to a man in his house, and worships him like a god, but he does not display a single picture of me for anyone to see! What does that say for him? He would rather respect a dead man that acknowledge a gay son. For him I am an abomination and in his words I was a mistake and should never have been born. Try evolving into a man after hearing that and having it beaten into you for 21 years physically.

Hate is not from God nor an attribute of God.

The bible is NOT a history book NOR a science manual. The bible is a collection of stories either authored or attributed to someone who might have heard or wrote down that story. And 2000 years later the bible chapters are/were written to specific groups with specific problems in a specific region at a specific time.

Don't you think it wise to ponder the thought that We don't know for sure what God thinks of these gays and lesbians? You pigeonhole us all for the debaucherous, promiscuous men who did a disservice to the entire population.

I can attest to you that I was married by a minister to my husband IN a Catholic Space before the altar and eyes of God and it was Good and right. The community that I belong to at University is multifaith and accepting, not to mention I live in Canada where things are Legal and accepted Unlike the U.S. You christian fundies will never let them have their days because you are too busy running your mouths hating and judging us, because of how YOU were brought up and you continue to live.

Children who grow up with hate and judgement always end up judging and hating, unless you grow in your faith and you expand your lexicon of acceptible thoughts and possibilities. and I like to believe that there are possibilities in God's kingdom. The time has come to lay down your arms and begin to accept that US GAYS are not going away and one day US GAYS in the U.S. will have the same rights you do. Mark my words.

I left the U.S. to find a life that was good and right, and they say in recovery,

"Do you want to be RIGHT or do you want to be HAPPY?"

God forgive you and may HE have mercy on you.

Hate is not a family value!


Anonymous David said...

Right on Jeremy! We are all Gods creatures and are equally entitled to His love, comfort and protection. He created us and who are those bigots to condemn his creation? Hate may be fashionable but Love is God's order. Be that love physical, emotional, or both; It matters not weather it be male to female, male to male, or female to female. We must all try to be the best we can be.

11:44 AM  

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