Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Be careful of what you ask from God...

Tonight after my rant, I did my reads since I could not do it from Ottawa, and I listened to my new SCC cd, "Speechless" and boy did that music hit the spot. More like Convict me from the outside in.

Be careful what you ask from God because if HE thinks your ready for the answers, then they will come and in my case usually, they are almost instantaneous within 24 hours of a prayer !!

So yes, I am lacking a hefty dose of compassion and tolerance for those with different struggles. I just have to lay the law of what I will and will NOT tolerate from people in my social circle. I have decided to resign my postition at the center affective Immediately. I don't need that place to stay sober. I don't need any more toxic relationships and toxic drama in my rather sedate life.

I am wise to the fact that people get sober on Gods plan - and not mine. I forget that alot. But I ma a hard ass tell it like it is queer boy with addiction issues. I have too many issues to think about that would only drive me insane.

They told me many years ago that a relationship with Christ would entail some work, more to the point - ALOT of work !! Daily, and Minutely! I guess you could say I've had a small religious experience within the music of Steven Curtis Chapman. I am homesick and went to bed with my MP3 player blasting in bed.

So I have some plan of action for the coming weeks. I may be the only Jesus my home group may ever meet, and walking away just now would cause an upheaval that I could not bear. So rant over, I know what I must do.

You know we ask that question

What Would Jesus Do? You have all the "Jesus Stuff" but what about the change? it's one thing to talk about Christ and my Christianity, it is another thing to talk the talk and walk the walk, so I guess it's time to walk - so stay tuned for upcoming updates.

The good thing about God is that when I ask for forgiveness from Him, he forgives us all. I've been too hard and callous and for that I am sorry for being uncompasionate and unforgiving.


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