Monday, August 08, 2005

A letter from a reader (ICY)

I did not sleep well last night, I have been focused on the news as of late. Sleep did not come easily and I am a bit tired, not to mention is is miserably HOT today. anyway, I check my comments this afternoon and find this, so here is my answer for ICY... Thanks for reading.

Hi there! I've read a lot of blogs, however I don't think I've ever come across one such as yours. It is obvious you love God very much, however I can imagine life gets strenious for you at times. How do you deal. I mean being gay, being a minister, dealing with a partner with mental issues. I'm just curious, not at all trying to poke fun. I was reading your words and there was so much love in your writing. You genuinely care for those in your life. Now there are some things I definitely don't understand, and maybe it's not for me to understand, but I just wanted see what it was like for you.

ON being Gay??

I knew in Junior High that I was different, but nobody told me that either. It took a long time to "get it" and that happened on a trip to the Bahamas with my best friend back then, that he outed me in the midst of a drunken love proposal on the high seas. It took me many years to find my groove, to find peace with my God, of MY understanding. I don't follow the traditional "institutional" God of Catholicism any longer. I am a man of the fields. I live outside the buidling sharing my gospel with those who will listen and give faith a chance to prosper. I am 38 now, and I know who I am, and I am proud of the man I have become and I don't give a shit what my detractors have to say about my life. They can all go f*ck themselves!! Opinions are like Assholes, everyone has one. They who say that GOD hates Gays, surely don't have the direct 800 number ! do they, because GOD has not spoken to me directly and until he does my ministry will continue until the day HE takes me home.

What made you want to go into Ministry?

When I was a young boy I always had the sensation that God had called me to higher things. So I went to Seminary and got heart broken by politics and sexual lies and secrets in my own community. Still to this day I feel the tug of God at my heart and I try to follow, hence my "late return" to University. I will get that religion degree if it kills me.

I believe that we are all called to Ministry, in whatever form it manifests. If we do something every day to help another, then we are ministers !! I try every day to make a difference, in some small way.

How did I deal with my partners mental issues?

He had a nervous and physical breakdown. I stepped into Care Mode. I got the doctors to see him immediately in "pain of death" if they refused. We got him into a shrink, and we began the healing process. It was a very dark year of lonliness and fear, but I survived with alot of support from my blogger brothers and sisters, and a man called the Real Live Preacher. And One day in September the shrink added the magic bullet, and almost overnight, the light went on in the tower, the fog had parted and I welcomed my husband back into the land of the living, as Lazarus rose from the dead, Peter rose from his stupor. That was the second greatest day, behind of course our wedding day, that came two months after his resurrection.

That I care for others?

Isn't that the highest calling? to care about my fellows and those I count among family and friends? This little blog sphere has grown exponentially since I started it, and today I will cross the 11,000 hit mark. Good men and women read my blog. Straight and Gay, Minister and preacher, writers and reporters, starz and celebrities, and regular folk as well. This is a viable medium to share my message of Hope, Life, Survival, Sobriety, Love and Acceptance and TOLERANCE. There is too much pain and sadness in the world. I try every day to bring a smile to this blog, sometimes I succeed and some days I fail. "Life is a banquet and most poor suckers are starving !!" ( Movie quote: Anyone ????)

Is your lifestyle more accepted in Canada than in the U.S.??

That is a Given, seeing that we do have Same Sex legislation on the books, that Canada is a country that supports and encourages Diversity. My husband and I were married last fall in a simple Church ceremony in front of our family, friends and God himself. We have rights here in Canada that the U.S. will never see unless you get the conservative christians out of the white house and you install a more liberal Democrat or Independent to Office. Not to mention HIV care for myself is excellent. I get much better care here for my situation and treatment is a fraction of what it cost me in the U.S. ( I am a Canadian Citizen and Have been since Feb of 2003) I would never return to live in the United States. EVER !

How is your relationship with your parents?

My Parents, here we call the "Biologicals" because they are not parents. We do not have a relationship and haven't in many years. The last time I saw my mother was for 20 minutes on New Years Day 2001. I have not talked to my parents in over a year. They have called me a deserter for leaving the U.S. not to mention I am Gay, and HIV positive. They got an invitation to our wedding last fall and they declined to attend, saying "We don't do GAY!!" They never have and never will and I am ok with that today.


I imagine you probably want to tell me to shut up and buy the book.

The book is in the works, I am dutifully writing every day now, hoping to finalize the manuscript by the end of August. LET US PRAY !!

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Mine will be out soon, maybe you'd like to read it. I'm a woman who loves God also. I've been through some things, bad things, good things. I'm a happy person who has some sad days.

Ok, Icy that's enough. Anyway, I'll probably be thinking about your blog most of the day, so I wanted to give you something to think about too....smiles and blessings.

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