Tuesday, May 17, 2005

What do I Know today !!

It has been a glorious day in Montreal, a little on the cool side, but pleasant.

Last Night I had dinner with my Spiritual director at the Major Seminary. I've never been to the Major seminary. And I am reflecting on our time together and the discussion we had. There is a reflecting pond behind the school, with a walkway around it, and it was around that circle we walked, talked and reflected on our calling to Ministry.

And I told him, how I have seen my life change, and how my Christianity has changed. I know, and this is my truth, that What I am is not important as to WHO I am. That I have found that my personal life orientation has become a NON issue in my journey IS important. That I speak my truth as I see it IS important. How I "ACTIVELY LIVE" my Faith IS important to the Man I am today.

I have spent the better part of two years (going on 3 years) in the latest round of religious education and I have found that my vision of the world has changed. How I approach my life and death has changed. How I minister to others has become a focus of my every day living. As I have shared in the past, "It is hard NOT to think about God, when all I do every day at School is study God" from the many visions of the classes I have taken. This Summer Term I am focusing on Native Traditions and Canadian History. And I find it such a breath of fresh air to read and talk about how others see the divine and how they live in communion with the land and the earth as a whole. Canadian History ROCKS!!

What we share with others is SO important. That we share our experience with others is important as well. That some of us have faced our death brings new light to those who read these entries. That I can tell PAT, that i know where she is and have walked this road for some time. I KNOW what it is like for a doctor to look you in the eye and say, "well, this is it, you have (X) number of months to live, so you better make it good." I know what that FEELS like. I know what I went through, and i watched many men and women walk THE WALK!

Only men and women who have faced their deaths can tell you about the road ahead. Most every day men and women never think about death until it walks up and bites them in the ass !! Either through a family member or their own "death" diagnosis. Most people take life for granted until the days become numbered.

NOW, the "KEY" HERE IS to make every day count, and WASTED TIME is wasted time. Sitting here moaning about the end, will only bring it on FASTER! Knowing how to best utilize your time and efforts will be your saving grace. Not many people get that lesson until they NEED it, but I have shared it with you here.

I've done the Death and Dying ritual several times in my life and I took the class in my first year in University ( At age 36 )!!!

So I am still alive all these years later, and what can I tell you PAT, that God exists and that some days it might be difficult to get out of bed, because drwaing the covers over head seems totally logical!! Been there, done that !! You get up, and you walk. And you FIGHT and you PRAY, because we are OUT HERE praying and walking with you.

God is here, and the angels walk the earth. I know this because I have met a few on my journey and I believe that they exist, because I KNOW. Courage my faithful servant.

This I know to be true tonight.

That I love and I am loved in return. That i do my best each day, and I share my experience, strength and Hope with my friends. This afternoon I went to have coffee with a couple of my friends at the G&A Deli, folks from my home group. ( Yeah, i'm in recovery too ) We've been doing coffee every Tuesday without fail for the last 3 years.

My friends respect me as a man, and they respect my widsom and guidance. It's amazing what recovery can do for you in the building of ones confidence and respect. I have grown up so much in the last 3 years, that sometimes I even amaze myself. THAT someone listens to me (Jayson) is amazing. People look to me for guidance in recovery and in their faith lives, as I look for that in my fellows.

You never know when your words will come back to you, but when they do, you will stop and say "Hey, someone actually thinks I have something worthwhile and important to say." and that Others think that WHAT I have said IS Important to them. (JAYSON!)

So I am greatful to everyone who reads this blog and to the new visitors that may stop by.

Pat, Know you are in my thoughts and prayers. YOU are not alone.

Every story Should be told, every lesson MUST be passed on. Every Life is meaningful and important to those whom you share the road with. Every lesson on your life can teach another soul how YOU lived your life. Every life is sacred and important to God.

Every life story is important and when we write and pass on WHAT we know and have seen, we leave a mark for the world to come back and hear us say to them "WE WERE HERE!!" and that matters to me. If my lessons make their way into ONE life before I die and If I have helped but One person on their journey, then I have DONE my Job.

Blessings on your heads.


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