Thursday, January 06, 2005

Thursday Musings

Hello, I took the day off and shamelessly hid under the duvet in my bed until 5:30p.m. this evening. It is so good to sleep for long hours. This old body needs the "Regeneration Alcove" on the odd occasion. Yesterday I went to class, as usual excited to see who I'd see, and meet new professors for this term I have not had yet to date at Concordia.

But, everyone is sick with the flu. And what does an HIV positive person want to avoid? yes, correct, "sick people." well, I was up till 4 am this morning writing and taking care of business, and then i went to bed and picked up Angels and Demons, Finally the "final faceoff has occurred!" So i read until I got through with that part of the story, I guess it was close to 5:30 when I finally turned the lights off. I drank a sixpack of Gingerale during my little reading stretch. I was headed for sickness again, I knew that. This morning proved my theory. I had no desire to get out of bed.

Alas, dreams came fluidly today one after the other. I love dreams. Technicolor movies of personal interest, people and places I have either seen or in my minds eye, visited. There was a snow covered town, alot of lights in the tress of a neighborhood of high end homes tucked within a forest of trees. I cannot recall the point of this dream, but lighting the trees was inportant in this dream, for some reason. (christmas lights I mean).

I have spent the last hour reading fellow bloggers. As is my custom of rising from slumber, is to check the mail, smoke the proverbial first cigarette of the day, and spend at least an hour reading bloggers whom I have sorted into Blog Categories in my favorites. First I scan the Canadian Bloggers, then my Top Blogs, More Blogs and so forth and so on. If i can't read in the morning then after class this is the ritual I follow.

I got word from a fellow blogger this morning where he had been all this time. I am so jealous. I would love to take off for a Euro-Holiday. I spent some time this afternoon during a break from napping to get up and read some of his journal from the trip, note to friend....take me with you next time !! he he he he

I guess I should give you my New Years resolutions:

I have to tell you that surviving HIV for 13 years has changed my need to set some table of resolutions. Facing ones mortality more than once, real life issues become more important than fulfilling a list of "things to do."

This is my take on life. My birthday is in July, which is also my diagnosis month, 1994.
Christmas falls in December. So, In a years time, if i make it to my birthday, I know I will make it to Christmas. If I make it through another holiday then I am confident I will make it to my next birthday the following July. That is alot better than not knowing whether or not i was going to live week to week.

1. I have to continue my search for a "faith community" faith is paramount to my survival.

2. I have a full plate with school ( 4 classes / 12 credits )

3. I am starting the NEW ONCE A DAY HIV Medications tomorrow.
( I know what is going to happen over the next month) I am mentally prepared now.

4. I would like to work out more, I have this home gym we bought and never use.

5. I would like to spend more time volunteering at the Center

6. I need to work on some issues in my marriage with Peter

7. I need to just BE MYSELF and work on living "authentically"

8. I would like to meet a few Canadian Bloggers I am friends with in this space

9. I need to take care of the legal issues facing US at this time

10. We have a weeks vacation in February, I would like to do something with Peter

11. I need to step up my game for my professors this term

and 12...
There are always 12
12. I just need to Live another Year and stay clean and sober. One day at a time.


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