Monday, January 24, 2005

This is for Lucas - The Birds - The Spirits

When I was in High School I began to loose my grandparents and a few choice uncles. The first to go was Paul. He was my father's - Father's - Brother. (my uncle), the phone rang one afternoon and my uncle John was on the other end. and he told a particular story. He told us that he was blacktopping the driveway on Saturday afternoon and that a blue jay appeared at his feet. This bird followed him around the house and the yard for the day. Now blue jays are not very "social" birds as I had known. BUT, this bird flew around the house and sat on the windowsill and pecked at the window. ( this was shortly after Paul died). For weeks at a time, then for months, this bird knew exactly when John, Barbara and my cousin Kathy were at home. The bird also knew what room they were in at any given time of the day.

They realized that "Paul" was visiting them from the beyond. If they got home and the bird was not around, all they had to do was open a window and call out his name. and in the same breath could ask him to "buzz off!!" This went on for months.

Fast forward 1500 miles south to Miami, Florida.

My grandfather did not live for many years after his stroke, due to complications from cirrohsis of the liver from his alcoholism. When Alexander ( my grandfather died) something happened. It was a calm afternoon just after the funeral. I was in my bedroom. There was a bottlebrush tree outside the window. And that afternoon was peculiar because I Red Headed woodpecker showed up and began to tap on my window. He stayed there all day long, well into the night. Now my parents knew that (Paul) was visiting my family up North.

Every day when i would walk the street to the Bus Stop, the bird would follow me. After school the bird would be waiting for me at the top of the street and fly me all the way home. The bird followed me all over the house. ** NOTE ** I am the medium of the family. Everyone has come back to me (IN Particular). the story continues. If i moved from room to room in the house, the bird would follow me from room to room. If i openend the window Al would come in and sit on the windowsill and chirp. Afterwhile my parents realized that this was an omen. Al had come to stay - that lasted for months, almost a year.

The pecking would get annoying afterwhile, and one could open the window and tell AL to go get a life, and he would disappear. If a day went by and he didn't show up as scheduled, I could open the window and call "AL!!!" and the bird would fly down and sit on my windowsill.

Now, almost a year later, our woodpecker disappeared, and we never saw him again. About a week after "Al" disappeared the phone rang. It was my Uncle John. And these were his exact words and I remember them as if he spoke them to me right now......." There are 2 birds sitting on the deck out back. One is a Blue Jay and the Other is a Red Headed Woodpecker!!!" After that phone call, the birds flew off and neither was ever seen again.

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When My grandmother (Jeannie) my dads mother died, I was living in Miami and the day of the funeral I had to escort my grandmother back to the funeral home and then the Crematorium, I was in 12th grade. My father had a nervous breakdown and could not take care of her cremation. I had to do it. I brought all of the flowers that had been taken from the funeral home, home with me that afternoon, after I left her at the Crematorium. I went home. I cried for a week. Every night I would go to bed, and wake up with this shadow standing at the foot of my bed. That went on for years. I never knew who it was, or why they were there. i never sought out a medium to tell me, i thought it was Jeannie.

Fast forward to Ft. Lauderdale 1994.

I had just been diagnosed with AIDS in 94, I lived in a 1 bedroom apartment alone. There was an air conditioning unit in my room and I always slept with the door closed to keep the air in. But, every morning I would get up and the magazines would be knocked off the coffee table and the pictures on the walls would be tilted. Now, this went on for months. At this point I was trying to stay alive, and I got into Holistic healing, crystals and Tarot Cards. I began to see a reader once a week, his name was Carlos. After while he sensed I had "the gift!" So he came to be my Mentor and Teacher. The moved articles in the house was freakin me out, so i asked him over one afternoon to see for himself. It was then my suspicions were confirmed. Carlos said there was a woman standing in my living room. He described her to a fine degree. I was FLOORED... He told me that she could not get through my door at night to check on me, and she was trying to get through the door and did not know how. After that, i never slept with the door closed ever again. Jeannie would come to visit at least once a week for as long as I can remember after I got sick. I know she's around, she has a distinct "smell." When she appears, I smell her kitchen. (specifically her kitchen).

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David ---

When I was in Seminary in 1986-1987 in Miami, my best friend David was in a Franciscan Monastery in Boston. David was as devout a religious man as I was. He was my best friend. He found friendship in a young man with AIDS in the monastery. David cared for and fed this man when no one else would. After his friend died, David came home to Miami, with a mysterious disease. We talked alot, and prayed together. When he died so suddenly, it was a Tuesday Afternoon. I walked in from class from the Biology wing and saw the death announcement. I stood there and sobbed. The men in my company had no respect for me at all. 2 nights later I went to David's wake. The priest who was leading the service had MS. At one point during the service Father collapsed and it was left to me to finish the service as David lay there in state. That was the first time I saw David in the flesh. And he moved.

I returned to the Seminary. It was dark, around midnight, the night was breezy and I was alone in the front pew of the chapel. Now, if you lay a crucifix on the floor and look down at it,

a. the confessionals were to the arms of the cross - left and right (along with extra pews)
b. the altar sat in the crossbeam of the cross
c. the pews were in the lower portion of the cross
d. the sacristy was to the head of the cross...
e. all the outer walls were sliding glass doors.
the ceiling was over 50 feet up, surrounded by stained glass.

ok are you following me??

I was sitting in the first row, in front of the altar. It was dark. From the right side of the chapel I heard a door open and footsteps walked towards me in the front pew. When the footsteps reached the altar the sacrament candle hanging above me - exploded. The light from the flame lit up the huge mural behind the altar on the upper wall. ( see pic below ) you can see the candle hanging to the right of the back wall in front on the mural.

The candle exploded and in that light I saw David standing there before me in his red and black check shirt and black pants. He told me not to weep, that he would be with me always. I have on a chain around my neck, David's Mary Medal. I never leave the house without it.

The year i left the seminary ( may of 1987 ) I traveled to San Francisco. I was on a tour in the mission district in the old city. David and I prayed to St. Anthony of Padua. That day I was walking through the graveyard and I happened upon a very HUGE statue of St. Anthony on one of the graves. And I heard David's voice call me by name. He said to come to the Cathedral, so i walked as if i had a purpose. I entered the church and walked down the main aisle to the altar. I was alone. I walked up to the pulpit and opened the book it was then I heard David tell me to look up. There on the back wall was a stained glass window of St. Anthony ( our Patron Saint - and standing in the light of the window on the choir balcony was none other than DAVID !!)

When I got home I went to visit Davids grave at Mary Queen of the Sea Cemetary in West Miami. He is buried by a lake with a tree next to his grave. I would go visit him and sit under that tree. That is where I saw David a third and final time. He was always beautiful and he always told me that i would be ok and that he was watching over me. I believe that.

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Camille - My mothers mother.

It was 1998 and my mothers mother had died of a stroke in Connecticut. I was very sick, during that time. And My mother forbade me from attending the funeral because she did not want the rest of HER family to find out that i had AIDS. i was a disgrace to her. So I didn't get to go. Soon after the funeral I would have these blackout dreams and Camille would visit me, and I would write letters to my mother, ( I know that much ) I would sign them Camille, in her very handwriting. then i would seal them and walk them to the mailbox each night i wrote them, never reading them once they were written. I still do not know what is in those letters to this day, nor if my mother ever read them or threw them away. that lasted for a year. I have YET to visit Camille's grave in Connecticut. ( that's on my list of things to do this Spring)

For the last 25 years I have carried around a scapular of Marguerite D'Youville in my wallet. She was - is - related to my mother's side of the family. When I moved to Montreal almost 4 years ago, i went looking for this woman ( Marguerite D'Youville ) Would you believe that her body is buried not 4 blocks from where I currently live. I found a great aunt who IS a Grey Nun, in the order the Marguerite D'Youville founded in the 1700's. When Sister Georgette and I met, she gave me a tour of the Mother House ( Huge Convent ) on Gy Street just below St. Catherines street. It was there that Camille came to me. Over the last 2 1/2 years every time I go there, in a certain hallway, I smell Camille and her Jean Nate body wash and I smell her kitchen, ( Why is it always the kitchen) they are distinct for both grandmothers.

I come to later find out that there is a room off to the side of the chapel, where marguerite once laid in state, before she was interred under the main altar. It was in this ante-room that my grandmother Camille prayed for a tumor to be healed from her body, WHICH DID HAPPEN. it disappeared and was attributed to Marguerite D'Youville. So that room, is just aside the hallway where I see Camille. Every time I go there, I visit that little room, and for a few minutes on each visit i commune with Camille. Every time I visit the Mother House she comes to see me.

I am now HIV positive for 13+ years. I take 1/2 the prescribed medication per day, with guidance from my doctor. I have been on this 1/2 medical regimen for now 4 years. My t-cells are over 900 and my viral load is still undetectable. I am still alive !!! Miracle or Not ??

Empathic people see spirits and can be spiritual guides for people as well. After Camille died I went to see a professional medium names Hans Christian King. Because I could not go to the funeral i was distraught. I went to him for a single word. One sentance maybe. I went to Borders bookshop that night in Miami, and i cried. I asked him for a moment of his time, after every had been read, he came to me and told me that she was happy. I asked him to relate to me 1 word from her that only I would know, and he coundn't. A week later I got a card in the mail from him telling me that if i paid him, he would connect me with her on the other side. That was in 1998. I never trusted any mediums after that. I could really do it myself. and have done that since I realized that THEY were coming back to me for a reason.





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